Amaterasu

(Image : “Amaterasu”, soul card 145,  collage on cardboard, SG, 2010)

…Did you know that for the old Celts the Sun was a female symbol?

Oh how different everything would have been if the warm energy and the smile of the Goddess had not been banished to the night side of the Western psyche!

Amaterasu – omikami, ” the great august kami that shines in the heaven” –  is a sun goddess and one of the principal Shinto deities.

A sense of impending doom…

(Image : “Impending doom”, soul card, collage on cardboard, SG, May 2010.)

“We do not own the Earth, we only borrowed it from our granchildren.”

(Anon)

I think I´ve mentioned this before,  I feel very uncomfortable about what is ocurring around the world, and that feeling comes through in my art lately. I see a necessary Change coming, a radical Paradigm Shift, about which some people have been talking for quite a goodly number of years now, myself included.

At the Sanctuary we´re extremely aware of the Peak Oil problem,  and how this is going to totally change our lives; we´re aware also of the climate crisis. We are downsizing and re-skilling, learning NOW how to live with less, because when the deep shit hits the final fan, it´s going to hit hard. Be prepared.

Downsizing : These last months we have reduced our plastic trash a whopping 80%, and the rest is selected, organic goes to the chicken. Yes, we have a chickencoop which gives us an average of 6 to 8 eggs a day, and we have a veg patch. That means having learned to manage chicken, and caring for a kitchen garden. We eat less, we eat better, and leave a lot less garbage. Re-skilling : Mika has learned to make bread with about every grain available. We still depend on the supermarket for some products, but are learning to make our own (basics). We are very aware of what we buy, are  buying more recicled and ecological stuff, (including second hand furniture), and we´re not going on holiday on a plane.  The house is paid for, the car as well. We have an eye on gasoline prices. All this is shorthand for : be cautious, be aware, be prepared.

Forty years back when I told my mother, let´s eat brown rice, – she told me in no uncertain terms that I was crazy. So I got used to being thought of as a bit of a zany bird, what with my eco-ideas. Now these very same ideas are becoming mainstream fast, and Alleluiah, at long last.

But we don´t know if there is much time left, we already live on borrowed time as a civilization, maybe it´s too late for the majority, and the crash will be hard. Another thing that will become very handy indeed is knowing about group processes. Believe me, friends, when the survival of your family depends on your neighbours, you better know how this functions! That´s one thing for which, as a group, we are thoroughly prepared.

When asked what he thought about civilization, Gandhi answered : “It´s a good idea”. The man must have had a dark sense of gallows’ humour.

A glorious epitaph!

 (Image : “Druid Review”, a non-verbal journal, SG, 2009)

…Decorators, I am told, have “mood boards”, I have my Art Journals in which I record what happens in my inner life. Thus, I have my Mystical Journal, my Dragon Journal, my Dreams Journal, Angels, Traces (abstract), Druid Diary, Elves, Merlin, Faerie Book, Why Not, Dancing Moon, angry, sad, nostalgic, funny, surrealistic, etc.

I tried written diaries but never went past the cover! So I gave up, haha, and instead of writing the story of my life, which I do not need to share, I just go crazy with watercolours, collage, wax crayons, supermarket tickets, the lot, what not. (Yes, I´ve got a Crazy Book too, and a black-and-white-only Ghost book!)

My journals are all that is not planned, not structured, not thought through, and not surprisingly, they are absolutely chock-full! I love to amaze myself!…

What a legacy to leave behind when I go to the Great Prairies up there in the Sky!…(Or, better said, under a little apple tree in my own gardens!)

(And yes, I did complete a “Nana´s Wisdom Book” as a gift for my grandson.One day he will think “what a crazy old bird my Nana was!” – and that, my friends, is a worthy epitaph for this lady dragon!)

Hecate, and all that jazz!

(Image : Autoportrait surréaliste, SG  April 2010)

…Have started a new Art Journal to explore the tricky passage that I am going through as a woman, I´m definitely a crone now, but you see, I don´t really feel like one.I wonder how many women feel the same way ? I don´t have a clue of how I´m supposed to feel, though I know that I am supposed to feel something, some things, and I dont – repeat: don´t –  agree with those things one bit! And I see the desperate efforts of some other women to cling to the last remnants of their youth, like clinging to worthless rags… I swore to myself that I would not be like them!…

I don´t feel “my age”, I don´t really look “my age”, I´m the same “me” as before, and yet there are subtle changes that I do acknowledge. I cannot run as fast, I have wrinkles, sometimes my teeth are hurting (lol), and I´m certainly not as slim as I once was (never been “slim, so what?)

Actually, I feel strong, ready for battle, full of creative juices- and quite determined to help the next generation as the brand-new challenges of climate change and the need for deep change arise in their young lives. I´m a weathered veteran really. Veteran, as in skilled,steady, adept, expert, versed and practical. (Courtesy of Dictionary, com, lol). 

And that, my friends, is one hell of an advantage, for me and for them.

PS.- The Spanish say “Don´t you have a grand´mother?” when someone throws compliments at themselves (which is a grandmotherly task, as we all know).

 Well, no. I don´t have a grandmother anymore. I am my own grand-mother (on my passport only).

The Mystical Experience

(Image : Soul card,  SG, 2009)

“The real meaning of enlightenment is to gaze with undimmed eyes on all darknesses.” (N. Kazantzakis)

“God has no religion.” (Mahatma Gandhi)

…I had several deep mystical experiences from the age of 8 to the age of 30, “peak moments” as they came to be called in Humanistic Psychology; all of them, each one of them, changed my life in a profound way.

I´m over 60 now, so it took me at least 30 years to completely integrate what happened when I was younger.

The first difficulty, as one can imagine, is how to remain rooted in reality when one just had the realization with all one´s senses and with absolute certainty that one is a conscious part of what other people have been calling “God”. I never ever said that I was “God”, but I said that I was an awakened part of what people call “God”, the same as us all. You really get to have to make sense of what you´re saying, and that wasn´t easy. Fortunately for me the contents of the experiences and the Vision that I slowly acquired also showed me that there were ways to say what happened without offending anyone! My experiences never inflated the ego, as they so often do. The heart of the mystical experience is too beautiful to be mistaken for something that an ego could produce, that much was clear from the start.

After that, after having been shown the interconnectedness of all, of the Great Chain of LIFE, of which I was now a conscious link, I really studied hard to get a sense of normalcy again. Except for a certain dancing light in my eyes, I functioned in the most normal way. Being “enlightened”, as they say, is no guarantee for being a balanced human being. And it is so, point-blank right on the nose! Hard work on oneself does that. I understood that very early on. And I did work hard on the person that I also was.

The sense of awe and the certainty that “all-is-Light” never left me. But I came to understand what the experience meant in contrast to what we are being fed through “education”. I studied hard then to be, one day, able to help others out of the dark tunnel of ignorance.

I also learned – sometimes quite painfully – that not everyone wants to hear the good news.

All in all, and with all, my life was changed forever and the more I understood, the more my view of the human plight changed, became more precise, more defined. The process of enlightenment is a gradual one, a continuous one, though the experience itself is more like a flash, out of time. If you think that it is a “wambam thank you m´am!” (lol)type of thing and you´re done, no, that´s not it at all. It is a long process of becoming more and more able to contain the Light, and to reflect it in a safe way. Progressively all functions align to the inner Light, until you are completely “normal” again, and seen as normal by others. The difference is just that you are being awake where most people seem to be fast asleep. This sleep being an illusion, as I learned going through the process of becoming a guide.

Enlightenment, my dears, is the basis of the normal human state of affairs, so you can measure how far we have strayed, as a species, from Home.

Soil and Circumstances

(Image : Alex Little, one year old, MDG, 2010)

…If there ever was a First Law in the form of education, actually homeschooling, that I applied with my kids it is… The Art of Becoming a Remarkable Person.

I happen to think that all human beings from the President of any state to the last Pygmee in the African forest are remarkable persons. Have you ever thought about the value of a human life ?

The differences are “soil and circumstances”, but the “prime matter” is of the finest.

Isn´t it high enough time that we should apply this First Law to each other ? Over borders and continents?

The Trees Are Not Looking At You!

(Image : The Book of Vivian and the Book of Merlin, OBOD, Druid Grade, SG 2008)

…How ever many projections you send out, seeing fairies and gnomes everywhere, elementals and whatnot, dryads and stuff, one thing is as sure as death (pun intended), and it is that when you are out there in the woods, the trees are not looking at you!

That is what is so wonderful about nature. Nature doesn´t  judge, doesn´t plan, doesn´t really care about the human species, only if we get to be much of a nuisance (the case now!), in which case we will probably be swept from the planetary map at some time in the future, along with  dinosaurs and the dodo! One day, there will be nobody to even notice the beauty (that is our task, ours, the human pest, lol). Indifferent to all our great schemings, Nature will go on and rebuild itself.

When you are seated at the foot of a tree, don´t ever think that the tree is looking at you. That is what is so restful about it all. No camera, no sly evaluation. Just a great peace, and a vibration that comes and goes and breathes from your relaxed heart.

Heart energy versus Scrapbooking

(Image : Love is an orange, collage, SG, ’05)

This is about blogging.

Had a discussion yesterday with some friends, all bloggers. Someone had said: “I don´t like to expose my personal feelings too much, my blog is more like scrapbooking. Scraps of things that I´m interested in, which I think other people will like, etc.” I said… “Who cares?” (You know me, I always put a foot where I shouldn´t!) The discussion that ensued was very interesting. I said that my blog was a way to build a bridge  with the world, from within my soul (especially important to me since I live away from “civilization”, high in the mountains), it is a way to show my heart, because I think that that is what the world needs right now, more heart energy… I need to “come out of the closet”, stand up for my heart connection with the world.

I also said that I thought that this sort of blogging is the noblest part of the Internet. If some of us don´t show our heart, this wonderful, extraordinary tool will be invaded totally by spam and porn, and all sorts of nasty intentions. The world is that way, we know that. It´s not because we live in the mountains that we don´t carry “civilization”  in our hearts too. It is precisely because we know how the world is that we chose to live in the mountains!

Essentially, I choose to show my heart, in a conscious way, knowing full well that thousands will pass the blog by, shaking their shoulders, bah.

Don´t mind. This blog is read, and some people seem to find good energy in it, good heart energy for their own lives. Maybe even a sense of companionship.

So, here I am. Will go on, as long as my Internet connection will hold.

An ecopsychological insight

(Image : The Grandmother in winter, picture SG, 2002)

…Autumn has come to the Sanctuary. The temperature has dropped dramatically, and Grandmother Figtree, standing there in all of Her glory, presents us with pounds and pounds of fruit.

This morning, as I was eating a fig, before going down to the village to the post office, the thought suddenly erupted in my mind…I am eating Her fruit, and by that intimate communion, She makes me a part of Her!…

It wasn´t, you know, a mystical insight, with angels blowing their trumpets…It wasn´t an emotional catharsis. Not at all.

It was as casual as… “Damn, got a headache!”.

But it was so real. I could actually see, on an atomic level,  in the crystal cup of my conscious mind, how the Grandmother makes me a part of Her, as I eat of Her fruit.

It is absolutely true. We are what we eat.

We actually need to understand that. This experience is the very essence of a much needed Ecopsychology.

The Prayer Tree

The Beacon

(Image : “The Beacon”, soul card 48, Shakti G., ’05)

My way of making way for the new has been a battle, no, a war. I have deep scars etched onto my soul, I´m giddy with pain sometimes, but I did, damn the whole show, make a clean slate – I cleared the rubbish, came down to the essentials, even kissed the brass tacks, and oh goddess, the essential is simple, like, I´m too happy just to be alive.

True, life is a thing of despair for us mortal beings. Yet in the middle of the dark night of our incarnation there is a flame, a fire, a star – the unmistakable messenger of what we could be. The darkness is real, and the pain. But the star, too, is real. It is a beacon in the middle of a tossing sea. A steady light in the middle of a very dark ocean.

Maybe I will never experience the new world, maybe there will be another holocaust. But as long as I live, my life will be a testimony of the hidden : we are gods, in spite of the braindeads! What we don´t know is killing us. Yet some of us have seen the light of the star – so yes, I´m burned out from the efforts of birthing the new, but I´m also bathed in a wave that announces a new era. At the corners of my eyes, a strange light is pulsing. I´m like a fish that suddenly breathes air. I´m a furry animal that suddenly finds it has wings. There is so much we could learn about how things really are.

So it´s part of my truth to be grounded with the pain of it all, exhaling the pain in a never-ending sigh. And it´s part of my truth too, to be inhaling fresh air, filling my lungs with dancing particles of prana light.

Namasté.

Shadow Warrior.